Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Best. Birth. Control. Ever.

    Hi, Y'all!  Sorry it's been awhile. I just moved to Missouri a few weeks ago, and I'm still settling in and fighting a wicked sinus infection. I figured I'd post about something highly educational today: How to get your man out of the mood. You girls (and some boys, I'm certain) can thank me later..

      So....What do you do when the ol' tried and true "But, I've got a headache" excuse isn't cutting it anymore?

     Your man feeling frisky? Well, not anymore. Alls you gotta do is leave these babies out on the bathroom counter for God and everybody to see. All you have to do to earn these beauties is suffer through a couple of years of orthodontic torture....and bam! Just like that, you are the owner of the best birth control device the world has to offer.
     Bonus points if you go ahead and put them in your mouth for the night.  Can we say, "Game over"?. (I'm not gonna elaborate, you sick pervs)

   What?! you say your man is still in the mood?! Aha...

      Now make sure they are good and displayed on the bathroom counter...

        What? He's still down for action?That demented bastard....OK. Try this...
    This has to be the mood killer trifecta. You're welcome ladies (and some gents).     

                                                                                            Until next time, Stay Fancy!---                                                                                  Jess                                                                                         


  1. I'm sorry, I wouldn't care. I like it too much. I have embraced my 30s with love : )

  2. Very funny post though! I love being 30! I wish I could have been like this when I got married!